I just switched from L’Oreal True Match foundation to Covergirl Simply Ageless.  So far, so good.  My main skin problems are blotchy red patches (from stress), brown sun spots (too much sun as a kid), and dark hereditary under eye circles.  The overall color of my face  is very uneven these days.  To top that off, I have some fine lines under my eyes that concealer gets stuck in and looks awful.  And a little enlarged pore action on my nose, if we must nitpick.

Like I said, I have been using True Match foundation… it is a sheer liquid formula and believe it or not, is my first foray into everyday foundation.  Like, ever.  I had THE BEST skin for the longest time, I used to get compliments on it all the time.  I just stayed out of the sun, moisturized, and to enhance my pallor I used a fluffy brush with pale setting powder for my gothic years.  Around age 20 my under eye circles were bad enough to necessitate spot concealer or powder, but that was it… it wasn’t until having my son that things took a sudden nosedive for my complexion.

So.  I started using concealer on all the spots and patches and blending out… and next thing I knew, my whole face was a spot.  So I tried buying treatments (like Philosophy’s Help Me!) and performing weekly DIY facials and began religiously washing my face twice a day.  But what is done is done.  Broken capillaries (When they say “PUSH!  PUSH!” they are actually telling to your youthful beauty to push out of your skin) and weird brown spots (hormonal changes?) and the daily stress of being a mother combined with far less sleep than I used to get have amounted to a need for foundation.

LONG STORY SHORT:  True Match was my first foundation, and it was pretty okay.  I didn’t know what to look for in a foundation… I will say that it definitely matched my skin nicely… didn’t clog my pores too bad or anything… didn’t look crazy cakey, and didn’t settle in my fine lines.  …It’s just that I could still see my skin under it.  Not that that is a bad thing.  But I have freckles and veins and stuff going on that I would just rather hide, and while it evened out the overall color, I needed a little more.

I was reading up on foundations and decided I would either buy Covergirl Simply Ageless foundation (save) or Makeup Forever HD foundation (splurge).  I just wanted to make sure I used up all the old one first… turns out that I finished the bottle today, and we just don’t have $40 for foundation right now, so “easy breezy beautiful” won out.

What can I say?  It is infused with Olay Regenerist Serum, has an SPF of 22, and feels waterproof on my skin which is different…. I don’t mind it, you might.  I don’t feel like it has budged at all since I put it on several hours ago.  It didn’t settle into my little lines and wrinkles, but didn’t cover them up, either, so I’m pretty okay with that.

There are a few things I didn’t like, however:

1.  The packaging is totally annoying.  They have a foundation sponge in a flip top and the foundation itself in a twist top.  And no mirror.  What a waste.
2.  I tried taking it off after my initial application and it ended up requiring a washcloth and heavier scrubbing than I’d like.  I am going to buy some Boscia Breakup Cool Cleansing Oil for this purpose when I can afford to, but until then I’m not very happy about the removal process.
3.  It has a matte finish.

A matte finish isn’t a bad thing, really, but it just  left me looking fake.  You need to know what the hell you are doing with a matte finish, and a lot of girls don’t.  So, after applying the foundation I had to highlight and contour, which added a few extra minutes to the whole process, which vaguely annoyed me.

Was it worth it? Yes and no.  Yes because I am not red or brown anymore, I don’t look like a corpse with sunken eyes, and I look like I naturally have nice skin again.  No, because it was time-consuming, “drug store expensive”, and will be a pain in the ass to wash off later.

Oh and one more thing, it is a shade lighter than it looks or that you’d normally buy. I have read a ton of reviews that said as much, and bought a shade darker as a precaution.  I am glad I did.  Such a thick finish would look awful if it didn’t match my skin better.

For my second ever foundation, I will give it a solid B grade.  A decent product… I have definitely seen FAR worse foundations on other women.  I am still going to buy my HD foundation as soon as I am able, but this will do for now.

*sigh*  I wish my son were in school so I could get a nice little day job.  I imagine myself in a gray pencil skirt, red pumps, and a white blouse, answering phones and filing my nails… clearly reality and I parted ways a looonng time ago!

The few joys in  my life are simple.  And that’s what I’m here for tonight: I’ve got some excellent beauty loot to talk about!

As I type this, my nails are shining in Sephora by OPI “Ms Can’t Be Wrong”.  It is a great darker pinkish-purple color without a hint of shimmer… just straight, semi-glossy color.  I am loving it right now.
Sadly, the winter air has been seriously harshing my buzz and killing my manicure.  Luckily though I picked up some Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion (Healthy Hand and Nail).  I have had Bliss, Fresh and Dylan’s Candy Bar lotions in my purse recently (I LOOOVVEE all those impulse trial-size goodies in line at Sephora!) but I have to say, at four bucks this lotion is the best I have tried so far.  It smells nice, goes on smooth, is non-greasy and reeeally moisturizing.  I cut the remaining Fresh Sugar Blossom lotion I had with it,  just for the extra lush scent of the former, and I don’t have to tell anyone my amazing-smelling  lotion is mostly a drugstore brand. 

Another cool product I’ve tried recently is LipFusion XL Advanced Lip Plumping Therapy.  I have never been a lip kinda girl; having nice eyes has been my strong point and well, you work with what you have right?  I got this as a free sample and I have to say, holy shit!  THE BURNING!  THE TINGLING!  I never felt more conscious of my “pout”… I looked in a mirror and sure enough, they “plumped” considerably.  Swelled, really, in my opinion.  I really don’t ever do much with my lips so it was weird.  I put it on right before a party and got compliments all night… nobody knew what exactly was different but definitely noticed.  Hey, whatever works!

That night I wanted to go all out with makeup… It was the night before New Year’s Eve and there is no other time of year to wear glitter and really get away with it.  Luck had it that Sephora sent me some for free!  Channeling Katy Perry, I worked the black and silver smokey eye, topped it with glitter, sprayed it in place,  and finished with a kitten pink lip.  I haven’t had so many compliments in a long time!  It helped that J Lo tried the look half-assedly the next night at Dick Clark’s Rockin New Year’s Eve at Times Square.  Seriously did you see that?  I’m sure you were staring at her ass in that bodysuit thing, but I definitely had to ask what the fuck her makeup artist and hair team were thinking that night.   Hot! mess!

Anyway, for Christmas I got some great eyeshadows by Make Up Forever, a vibrant purple and vibrant aqua.  I really like the color on the bottom lash line thing lately, with black cat eye liner on the lid.  Rihanna does this like a pro; I absolutely love it.  It’s a really fun look for a weekend night and I have to say that purple looked like a million bucks.  On the downside though, it would NOT come off.  It is so highly pigmented that I bet you could wear it swimming and still look good.

I scored a deluxe sample of Benefit’s BadGal Plum with that order, and that shit is the truth.  A reddish-purple mascara with a big fat application wand, BadGal Plum is seriously great for everyday use.  It doesn’t look purple or anything, just like a normal mascara except for the way it makes your eye color pop.  The downside?  After about 5 hours it starts micro-flaking off and makes tired eyes look EXTREMELY tired.  So…… not so great on New Year’s Day.  But otherwise?  Brilliant!

Well, this is about all I have time for.  I have a sunless tanning draft blinking at me, and dammit I haven’t forgotten, I just need to get on it myself before telling you girls what’s up.  I am more pale than the cast of Twilight right now!  Not in a sexy way, either.  Ugggghhhhh I need more me time, please!

A straightforward answer, is to get it waxed by a professional. They will apply a numbing agent, use a quality wax with soothing ingredients in it, and get the job done as painlessly as possilbe (do NOT be fooled, IT HURTS!). Afterwards, you will be red and puffy for a bit… but the end result is a smooth and non-irritated bikini line.

THAT being said… It’s not something I would ever suggest trying at home, and it can be damn right expensive. So, the most obvious and common way to get the job done is with a razor.

Don’t fall for the women’s razor. What a fucking joke those things are. Get yourself a good ol’ reliable Mach 3 or Mach 4: a man’s razor has better grip and control in my opinion.

As for the lubricant of choice (no, not that kinda lubricant!) this is where mistakes are most commonly made. When I was eighteen and stupid, I read online to use baby oil to shave the bikini line. I was about to get married and go away for a weekend, so I gave it a shot. They don’t tell you that baby oil will clog the little pores that get shaved open and cause ingrown city! So it will be soft for a few days, then painful and hurty til it grows out. Not a good idea… ouch!

Shaving creams and gels are loaded with nice lubricants, but also heavy fragrance and stuff that will, again, clog pores. Obviously the bikini area is not exposed to enough air to prohibit the growth of bacteria, so if you’re wondering why you get irritated after using this, it’s because first of all, such a close shave invariably causes tiny cuts in your skin. Second, the irritating fragrance ingredients get into the cuts (would you spray perfume on a cut?). Then, the heavy moisturizing/lubricating ingredients seal the fragrance ingredients and any mischievous bacteria into said cuts, and that’s why it fucking hurts later and you might get a rash or ingrowns.

So, what they hell should you use? Why, the main ingredient in most anti-bump aftershaves of course: salicylic acid! I know you’re thinking, “Acid?! I said NON-IRRITATED!” But what it does is unclog the pores before and after shaving, leaving the skin open to fresh air so that it can heal properly. I wholly recommend Burt’s Bees Natural Acne Solutions Purifying Gel Cleanser, both for your face and your bikini line. (It supports both bees and your sexiness, yay!)

Another big contributor to irritation is razor burn. The best thing you can do is keep your razor head fresh and dry between uses, and change it regularly. Also, in case nobody ever taught you, shave with the grain of the hair as much as possible, then only go extra close and against the grain for special occasions (girl you know what I’m talking about). If you go against the grain, hold your skin taut with one hand so that there is as little drag as possible, and try to only go over each patch of skin once. Razor burn is usually from pushing too hard with a dull razor and going over the same spot a bunch of times.

Also, this might be common sense, but give irritated skin a rest!! Keep it clean and don’t shave again til it heals!!

One last tip/free product plug:

The best most miraculous product I’ve ever seen for after-shaving relief is called “Tend Skin”. Once at the salon an African American woman came in with the worst razor burn and five o’clock shadow on her face I ever saw on a woman. I guess she started shaving her face and it got out of control, and she was too proud to go to a professional. My boss at the time gave her some Tend Skin for free, told her to use it regularly until it grew back a quarter inch, and then she could come back and get it waxed. She came back with no bumps, her skin was healed and the hair wasn’t even that bad. After a wax she was like a new woman.

I bought some last December for my fiance, because he had bad razor burn on his face… when you grow it out for too long and then shave it again, it takes time to break the skin in again and get it used to being shaved. It stings a little, smells not so great, but it offers complete eradication of bumps and in-growns if used regularly!

You can pick some up at Sephora or at most salons that offer waxing. Good luck! Hope that helped, I will answer more questions later!

Anyway.  Yesterday I rocked some minestrone soup.  Maybe you’d like a soup recipe?  Or two?

The recipe I used yesterday was from Todd Wilbur, I am sharing this without permission and I’m sorry, but it’s great!   it serves 8.   The parts in bold are my own:

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 cup minced white onion (about 1 small onion)
• 1/2 cup chopped zucchini
• 1/2 cup frozen cut italian green beans
• 1/4 cup minced celery (about 1/2 stalk)
• 4 teaspoons minced garlic (about 4 cloves)
• 4 cups vegetable broth (Swanson is good *note: Do not use chicken broth!*)  (I use Rachel Ray or Emeril’s, in a box!)
• 2 (15 ounce) cans red kidney beans, drained
• 2 (15 ounce) cans small white beans or great northern beans, drained (Cannelini beans!)
• 1 (14 ounce) can diced tomatoes
• 1/2 cup carrot, julienned or shredded
• 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
• 3 cups hot water
• 4 cups fresh baby spinach
• 1/2 cup small shell pasta

Directions

1. Heat three tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat in a large soup pot.
2. Saute onion, celery, garlic, green beans, and zucchini in the oil for 5 minutes or until onions begin to turn translucent.
3. Add vegetable broth to pot, plus drained tomatoes, beans, carrot, hot water, and spices.
4. Bring soup to a boil, then reduce heat and allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
5. Add spinach leaves and pasta and cook for an additional 20 minutes or until desired consistency.
6. I added red wine at this point, about a 3/4 cup’s worth, and I’m not sorry, it was DELICIOUS!

Another soup recipe you might like comes from my girl Kristen, who is a total goddess of all things muy sabroso.   In my hometown there is a restaurant called Dapper’s that makes the best cream of chicken rice soup ever, every Wednesday and Sunday.  Well, it was not Wednesday or Sunday when she sent me this recipe, and I was blown away at how close it was to theirs!   My boy said it was even better than theirs, but I had to give it a minus one, because Dapper’s serves it with delicious onion rolls and I did not.  lol  I’m a nitpicky arsehole sometimes.

I should note this one is by no means calorie conscious at all.  The minestrone is a much better choice if you’re on a diet.  That being said, I didn’t get fat for nothing, this shit is the bomb (once in a while!):

Ingredients:

4 tbsp. butter
3/4 c. all purpose flour
2 qts. chicken stock (use 2 boxes of kitchen basics brand.  I promise you it makes the difference.)
1 onion chopped (i used a red onion)
1 stalk celery, chopped
5 green onions, chopped
2 shallots, pressed and chopped
2 sprigs thyme (whole)
2 twigs of sage (about 5-6 leaves whole)
2 c. heavy cream
2 c. cooked rice
Salt, to taste

In a large saucepan, heat butter, blend in flour and cook over low heat, stirring constantly with a whisk until mixture begins to turn golden brown. Add chicken stock and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until soup thickens and becomes smooth. Add onion, celery, shallots, herbs and salt.
Simmer soup about 30 minutes, stirring often. Strain the soup base through a fine sieve. In a mixing bowl, mix some of the soup with heavy cream, stirring constantly. Stir the mixture into the remaining soup and bring almost to a boil. Do not let boil. Add more cream to bring to the desired consistency; correct seasoning and add cooked rice and serve. Serves 8

(Since I like my soup thicker, after adding the cream and before adding the rice, I whisked in some flour mixed with water… about two tablespoons with a tablespoon of cold water in a paste-like consistency… to the pot slowly, stirring constantly and allowing time to let it cook out the flour taste.)

Welp, that’s about it outta me… comment with a question or suggestion topic for my next blog, I love to write but I haven’t been mighty creative lately.  What do you want to read about?

One thing I guess I’m doing wrong is letting him watch a lot of TV. This kid loves TV, and I love getting shit done around the house without constantly worrying that he is into something. I turn on Nick Jr and know that when he’s quiet, 9 out of 10 times it’s because he is watching cartoons intently and happily.

Moose A. Moose and Zee

Now, before I get any shit for it from you, too… My son can count to twenty in English, ten in Spanish. He knows what an octopus is, he hums scales, he can say things in English and Spanish, and sometimes Chinese. He knows his alphabet and knows the lyrics to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” . He understands that it is fall and is going to be winter, and tells me when it’s foggy or cloudy or sunny outside. Do you think I am teaching him this stuff?

I am grateful for TV for guiding me in this. Much of the time I am nearby and he is playing with toys with the TV on in the background. I’m there to answer questions and reinforce what they are teaching him. I am grateful that Blue and DJ Lance Rock and Diego and Kai Lan are around to tell this kid what’s up. It is exhausting being a parent. But it’s magic when I say, “Muno and Brobee eat that, why don’t you try it?” or “I think Baby Jaguar is going to take his nap, let’s go take one too, we’ll see him when we wake up.”

He eats well, sleeps well, plays with his toys and watches TV. He loves to play with other kids, but it’s not always practical for us. He calls his stuffed animals his friends and answers questions from shows like Blue’s Clues where participation is encouraged; I think it satisfies a need for him, in the same way checking Facebook satisfies a social need for me.

So I ask, what the hell is wrong with that? I can see when he’s older, limiting TV so he can be active. But what’s wrong with TV when it’s educational and it makes him happy?

I imagine these are the same parents who wear their babies and breastfeed until the kids are three and co-sleep and sign their kids up for classes and only buy wooden toys and only buy organic whole foods.

Me…. I let him cry it out when he was a baby and he slept through the night by 6 months old. Couldn’t breastfeed after 6 months and he turned out just fine. He plays with plastic toys and hasn’t died yet… eats a happy meal once every two weeks and hey, we get a free toy out of it. What the hell is wrong with a happy, normal little kid?

I can’t wait til he’s in pre-school so I can see how far ahead of the game he is. He is already reading small words… I know 3 and 4 year olds who can’t even do that. Maybe I’m not parent of the year, but my kid is going to be somebody. Even if he watched too much TV as a toddler…

<3 <3 love her!!!! Gosh!

And dare I say this? Plays piano better than any boy I’ve ever known.

LAURA, OUT!

Believe me, I can be shallow. I am obsessed with beauty in the world, in women in particular. A lot of that is reconciling the inner and outer beauty so a woman can feel as beautiful as she is. It has been healing for me… I have suffered with self-esteem and conflicting messages about myself for so long. And as I get older, I see the things in me that everyone else should. Many don’t, and I feel sorry for them. I have so much to offer. Like anybody. We all have so much. And sadly, we just need help with packaging, I just want perfection and for everyone to be a perfect version of themselves. Best face forward, you know. That’s all it is. Be you, but be the best you. And if you just need some argan oil and eyeliner to achieve it, I can help.

The cliche of pretty women being ugly inside is so often true that I am enraged at the men in my life expecting some pretty young thing to fall into their lap full of sunshine and sprinkles and love. Meanwhile, some beautiful woman is already there, radiating without even noticing it, and they are just completely blind to it. Because she’s not his version of perfect, she never is. And it brings to my attention that the men I have always idolized and admired for all their good traits are so ugly inside. So stupid. So deserving of whatever they end up with.

I am becoming so jaded, and it hurts, I don’t know how to shut it off.

Us women… we are fragile things, sometimes. But we are so remarkably strong. Capable of so many amazing feats. We should love each other. So I am handing in my resignation of my lifelong fight with women; I just knew the wrong women. However, men are all the same. I am seeing it more and more as they talk around me, forgetting I’m a woman, forgetting I’m there. These are the ones who go out and hurt my sisters and leave them like lambs up for slaughter. And we all just take it, don’t we? We give our hearts blindly and there is no bottom of the well of tears. Women made the oceans, because they’re salty and deep and full of mystery. Millions upon millions of tears shed over stupid men over centuries.

And let this be my announcement. Bros before hos no longer. The next shit I hear about a woman will be given directly to her; I am no longer one of the dudes, I’m no longer “cool” and I don’t care.
I have spent too many years selling out my girls, just thankful that it wasn’t me. What a pitiful way to be… let guys figure it out on their own. And if they can’t figure it out, they deserve it.

She can play a piano full of bubbles and improvise jazz vocals. Idunno what else needs to be said.

THE END

Instead, let’s talk gorgeousness, okay? Let’s go there. Go there with me, will you?

Let’s talk about this recessionista movement real quick. I need you to know that I think it’s hogwash. I need salon quality products; I need Sephora; I need everything expensive and put in a pretty package; and I need it now. I support our economy, okay? Beauty dollars are dollars, too.

That being said, I’m just as broke as ever so I am trying to cut back. Lucky for me I am a weekend hair warrior, so I decided to cut my own hair. It’s long, it’s layered and I just needed a trim. Do you wanna know how to cut your own hair?

You will need shears and thinning shears, a spray bottle, a comb, some clips, and a ponytail holder.

Texturizing Shears

First wet your hair. Lean over and gather it into a tight ponytail at the top of your head, secure with a band.
Pull the ponytail tight up toward the ceiling, combing through so it’s in a line, and cut a straight line across. Your pony tail should look blunt when it’s held straight up.
But then when you release it, there are layers! And the split endies are gone! Next, part a U-shaped section on the top of your head (the curve should be at your crown) to isolate the top of your hair. That part should only be texturized by a professional, mmkay? Just leave it alone, clip it up.
Next, take one inch sections of hair and cut straight across with texturizing shears, 2/3rds of the length down. Comb through. Gross, right? You should have a little pile of hair but your hair should still be long.

And that’s really it, let the top of your hair down, comb and blow dry, no more split ends…. really that’s the best you can get for free.

The last thing I wanna say before I wrap this up and hop into bed with my sexy fiance, is that I’ve discovered that everything can be made instantly more beautiful with flowers. It seems so obvious that it is easy to overlook. Lately, I really appreciate pink flowers… I put a little arrangement on my desk and it makes my thoughts dreamy and loving.

Try it out, and if I don’t blog again this week, happy halloween!!!